A Native Born Texan Lost In Indian Territory

 

Is God Truly There?

I know God is with me, 

Because of Him, I am free,

Yet when I am in the public square,

I ask myself, "Is God truly there?"

I know God is with me,

For without Him, I am blind and can't see,

Yet when I am alone and sad in any place,

I ask myself, "Is God truly in my space?"

I know God is there with me, 

Whether I am on land or sea,

Yet when I am depressed and lonely,

I ask myself, "Oh God, can you help me?"

I know God is always true to me,

Even as I am true to His holy see,

Yet when I'm going through a difficult time,

I ask myself, "God, sing me a good rhyme."

A New Year With New Tragedies

  In all truth, this current year is a mere repeat of the past year, albeit with new and even harsher tragedies attached to it. My mother is dead, my elder sister hates me with a virulent passion, and I am all alone in a world where death is more preferable than life itself for me.

 With the death of my mother, my entire life has glided into complete chaos and turmoil. I have no one to live for anymore, for without my mother, whatever reason I had to live on for died with her in December 2023. I am currently homeless, lost, and alone in a strange town known as Edmond, Oklahoma, somewhere north of Oklahoma City, where I was dragged to by my elder sister in order to serve as her official ATM machine and eternal supplier. When I refused to go along with her ideas, she tossed me out of her house and into the streets, where I am currently struggling to survive until I can get myself back to Houston. Only my youngest sister remains loyal to me for the time being, and even so, I am not very sure about her loyalty to me. So I am in a position where I feel like committing suicide, to be frank. If there is a worse place than hell, I am currently in it right now.

 With both my parents dead, along with the bulk of my relatives who ever cared for me in my life, and with only one friend who I can trust, my dear friend Sara Cooper, I am in a state of deep depression and grief, and I have nowhere to go and hardly anyone to turn to for help. Indeed, you might say that God has dealt me a very harsh hand in my life in this current year.

 So while some can say that 2024 is a good year for them, in no way can I say the same thing for myself thus far. Perhaps with time, things might improve in my life, but for now, this has not proven to be the case for me.

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A Life Without Love

For many a man like me,

Love is as easy to find as the sea,

Yet for me, love is as rare as a blue moon,

Hence why I am as lonely as an old buffoon.

I have loved a few ladies, but they never loved me in return,

Their betrayal of me was a venomous sting that left quite a burn,

Yet I never once returned their evil upon them, no indeed,

For I am a far better kind of male breed.

O ladies of the earth, what have I done to make you hate me so?

What evil have I done to you, of which I do not know?

I have never wanted to bring you cruelty, avarice, nor harm,

But rather I seek to bring you love, grace, and charm.

As I live a life without love,

I look up to God on His throne above,

And I ask Him, "Why do you leave me without a lady?"

And so far, He has not yet answered me.

A life without love is the life I am currently living,

For me, it is the most bitter sort of thing,

If only women could see me as I truly am, and not what I seem to be,

Then perhaps they might find that I can make them happy.

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